In Memory Of Our Son

In Memory Of Our Son


We lost our son in 2012, that was and still is the worst day of our life. We have been driving back and forth from Arkansas to Kansas to pay our respects to our son. We love it here in Arkansas so much, we decided to have Ryan moved here to be closer to us. Lets just say my wife and I are overjoyed to have Ryan here in Benton with us. You may have noticed the two letters, R and A that are gray in our logo. They stand for Ryan Anderson.

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They say there is a reason,
They say that time will heal,
But neither time nor reason,
Will change the way I feel,

No-one knows the heartache,
That lies behind my smile,
No-one knows how many times,
I have broken down and cried,

I want to tell you something,
So there won’t be any doubt,
You’re so wonderful to think of,
But so hard to be without.

 

Although we seem so far apart,
You’re always here within our hearts.
You filled our lives with joy and pleasure
You were to us a precious treasure.
A little while shall pass and then,
We’ll see each other once again.
Loved, remembered and held so dear,
In minds and hearts you’re always here.

There’s nothing in this world
that brings such happiness,
as that of a dear sweet child,
to hold, love, and caress.

As one comes into our family
there is no greater joy.
It matters not the gender,
baby girl or baby boy.

There’s nothing in this world
that brings such heartfelt sorrow,
as to have them in your life one day
and find them gone tomorrow.


Your 16th birthday came and went, There were no candles on your cake. Just a flood of memories, Funny, Heartfelt, Wonder, Excitement, Anger, Teasing, Fear, Anxiety, Joy, Worry, Laughter….. Your 16th birthday came and went. There were no candles on your cake.

A million times I cried. 
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. 
In life I loved you dearly,in death I love you still. 
In my heart you hold a place no one else could fill. 
If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane. 
I’d walk the path to Heaven and bring you back again. 
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same. 

 



                                                                             

I used to hear stories of heart break,
And wonder how they felt,
And then I’d feel so grateful for the hand that I’d been dealt.

But then someone changed the rules,
Someone changed the game,
And now our perfect life will never be the same.

I don’t pretend to know the mysteries of this earth,
But I knew how precious life is, I knew a child’s worth.

I never was complacent – I was well aware,
Of the blessings and the privileges of children in our care.

I thought tragedy was for others, I thought we were immune,
Maybe that’s why he was taken all too soon.

I didn’t have to lose to recognise we were blessed,
We gave him all our love, we did our very best.

He was loved, he was precious, he made us a family,
I don’t understand why he was taken away from us.

Was it the hand of god? Or the finger of fate?
Or was it just all random – just a horrible mistake?

Or was it darker forces? The wages for some sin?
Or at the game of life you can’t always win?

Is there any order? Is there any sense?
Or just a lot of platitudes people like to dispense?

Things are said when you are grieving to make you feel ok,
But is any of it true or just words people say?

At the funeral I was strong, said words that then seemed true,
But now all I have is time and a future without you.

I know I’ll search for answers that I will never find,
And I know guilt will forever haunt the corners of my mind.

Even if they could tell me exactly what went wrong,
Would it make any difference – bring you back where you belong?

Where are you now my precious little boy?
Are you filled with light and with love and with joy?

Are you looking down on me and looking after us?
Or have you just returned to the dust?

Heaven, hell, dirt – in the end I just don’t care,
All I know is my arms are empty and my boy should be right here.

to “move on”
is to put something behind you
forget about it
… and never look back

to “go on”
is to forever
carry it forward with you
and never forget

a bereaved parent
will never move on

we simply go on…

 

 

My dearest child,
the day you went away my heart 
was ripped from my chest,
a part of me went with you 
and the world came crashing 
down around me.

My dearest child,
although time goes on without you, 
I think of you everyday
and miss you so much it hurts.

My dearest child,
I have a knot in my chest that is painful, 
as if a knife has pierced my heart,
and I know that the pain of losing you 
will be with me for all of my life.

My dearest child,
You are so precious, kind and gentle. 
It is so hard to accept that 
you had to go away.

My dearest child,
I cry for you every day 
and long to look upon your face,
hear your voice, touch your cheek 
and hold you in my arms one more time 
like when you were a little boy 
and make everything right.

My dearest child,
I wish that it was a dream,
and you were coming home, 
But you will never come, 
and a dream it will never be.

My dearest child,
I feel you with me sometimes 
and that makes me happy for a while.
The sadness in my heart is so hard to bear 
and crying is my only release.

My dearest child,
people tell me to remember that I have other
children, this I know I am not an idiot.
Everyone should know that your brothers and sisters 
cannot fill the void left by you, 
that space is yours,
and yours alone.

My dearest child,
only the people that have lost their child
can know what I am feeling 
and the pain that I bear.
Those others must remember that my life changed,
and I changed the day that you went away.
I will never be the same again,
and I hope that people will accept this.

My dearest child,
this is my time to grieve for the 
loss of my precious child.
This is my time to cry 
and be sad for a long while.
And one day I will be able 
to think of you with a smile 
and hopefully fewer tears.
And when I’m old and grey 
and my time on earth is done,
I will come home to you 
in the place that you have gone.

My dearest child,
remember that my love for you will never die, 
and I will miss you for the rest of my life.
And I believe that you are an Angel looking
over us from up above beyond the
distant stars.